Goodbye & Good Riddance 2009

Goodbye 2009 - I'm glad you're finally finished. It was quite a battle there between you and I for a while.

You have pushed, pulled and nearly torn me apart, sometimes you nearly succeeded but I'm so glad to see you gone.
I can only hope your successor 2010 is a lot kinder to my family and 1 than you were.

Goodbye and Good Riddance!

How do I describe a ‘vacant’ feeling?

I move, I speak, I interact with others but there is a huge part of me sitting in reserve, untapped and dormant.

I have today, celebrated Christmas, my first without my Husband by my side.

Looking back on the day I seem to have been operating on remote control as I don’t remember a lot of what has gone on before this moment.  Home alone now I can think clearer and feel so glad that ‘Christmas’ is over for this year and I can now prepare myself to deal  with  a whole new set of challenges and anniversaries.

I haven’t been ‘excited’ about Christmas for many years, since my son was little, remembering well those halcyon days when Santa was a real person  and the 3 of us enjoyed Christmas morning so much – they were a pure joy. - Not so now with a huge void in my life.

I hope that one day I will feel more at ease with my current lifestyle – It’s a goal I have to work toward – I have a long way to go.

New Wheels

My New Wheels - not yet one week old and I'm enjoying the experience of a brand new car. This car signifies so much to me but I'll go into detail at a later date. I'm off for a drive :)

The Strength of the Human Spirit

This beautiful little creature, a Kingfisher called into a friends camping site at Wollondilly River Station last weekend to perhaps rest and decide what to do next whilst he was searching for food.  He sat on this branch for quite some time which gave my friend plenty of time to reach for his camera, get a few shots and as a bonus inadvertently gave my friend time to relax and to ponder his life right now.

We all have times don’t we when we feel the world is against us and that our obstacles are so immense we will never see over or around them.

How beneficial that this beautiful creature chose that branch and that particular time on which to alight almost forcing my friend to concentrate on him and nothing else for a few moments.

The strength of our spirits, when, seemingly at their lowest always seems to find a way to lighten our load, even for a few minutes by losing ourselves in the sight and wonder of nature.

This little Kingfisher is testament to that.

Eternity's Sunrise

To have the gift of being alive and knowing it, seems
such an astonishment, that it would be churlish to spend
one's time being miserable because one knows it's got to end sometime.

From: Eternity's Sunrise by Marion Milner

if suddenly you do no exist.....

If suddenly you do not exist, if suddenly you no longer live, I shall live on. ........... No, forgive me. If you no longer live, if you, beloved, my love, if you have died, all the leaves will fall in my breast, it will rain on my soul night and day, the snow will burn my heart, I shall walk with frost and fire and death and snow, my feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping, but I shall stay alive, because above all things you wanted me indomitable, and, my love, because you know that I am not  only a man but all mankind. From: 'The Dead Woman' by Pablo Neruda

From: Fare Well

Look thy last on all things lovely,
Every hour. Let no night
Seal thy sense in deathly slumber
Till to delight
Thou have paid thy utmost blessing;
Since that all things thou wouldst praise
Beauty took from those who loved them
In other days. 

Walter de la Mare

From: So many Different Lengths of Time

So, how long does a man live, finally?
And how much does he live while he lives?
We fret, and ask so many questions -
Then when it comes to us
The answer is so simple after all.

A man lives as long as we carry him inside us,
For as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams,
For as long as we ourselves live,
Holding memories in common, a man lives.

Brian Patten

Quentin Crisp

Neither look forward where there is doubt, nor
backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask
yourself not if there is anything out in the world that
you want and had better grab quickly before nighfall,
but whether there is anything inside you that you have
not yet unpacked.

From: Resident Alien:Quentin Crisp Explains it All. by Tim Fountain

'quote'

If you are alive you've got to flap your arms and legs,
you've got to jump around a lot. For life is the very
opposite of death and you must, at the very least, think
noisy and colorfully or you are not alive.

Mel Brooks

If I should go before the rest of you

If I should go before the rest of you,
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone,
Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice,
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must.
Parting is hell,
But life goes on,
So sing as well.

Joyce Grenfell

Piscatorial Pleasures

I have been given a special gift.

This gift is from Steven and Rachael. It now takes pride of place underneath my Pergola area and I welcomed it with open arms. To have ‘fish’ here at home feels so right. My Husband had a love affair with fish from about 5 years of age, as did our son. Their main interest was catching then with a view to eating – but not always.
My little piscatorial pals greeted me this morning with such zest they nearly threw themselves over the top – pleased to see me – well it would have been lovely if they had but of course they were hungry and just looking for their breakfast but I can handle that :)

Myself

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don't want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done .
I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know
the kind of person I really am,
I don't want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men's respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like myself.
I don't want to look at myself and know that
I am bluster and bluff and empty show .
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.

Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)

Leo F Buscaglia

The easiest thing in the world to be is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position.

~~~~~

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

1. I am guilty of this very situation. I have allowed others to lay this pressure on me to my detriment, to my lifestyle, my personality and my well being. Changes are afoot!

2. Having been on the receiving end of all of these 'small acts of caring' I can truly attest to the fact that this man is so right. I truly hope that I have been able to help others in this way too.

The Tears Expressive

Death crossed his threshold yesterday And left the glad voice of his loved one dumb. To him the living now will come And cross his threshold in the self-same way To clasp his hand and vainly try to say Words that shall soothe the heart that's stricken numb. And I shall be among them in that place So still and silent, where she used to sing— The glad, sweet spirit that has taken wing— Where shone the radiance of her lovely face, And where she met him oft with fond embrace, I shall step in to share his sorrowing. Beside the staircase that has known her hand And in the hall her presence made complete, The home her life endowed with memories sweet Where everything has heard her sweet command And seems to wear her beauty, I shall stand Wondering just how to greet him when we meet. I dread the very silence of the place, I dread our meeting and the time to speak— Speech seems so vain when sorrow's at the peak! Yet though my words lack soothing power or grace, Perhaps he'll catch their meaning in my face And read the tears which glisten on my cheek. Edgar Albert Guest 1881 - 1959 Written (1920)

Satellite Navigation

I’d heard of this ‘invention’ some time ago, GPS, Sat Nav, whatever named used but had no reason to be involved with it – that was until now.

Whilst in UK travelling around the country, my sisters ‘Sat Nav’ was used every day, it saved us, mileage, stress, fuel and time but the bonus was during our travels we had a laugh along the way with the dulcet tones of John Cleese! Basil Fawlty he was not but we had a few giggles at his expense along the highways and byways of Dorset and Cornwall.

He announces at destination that ‘You’re on your own and I won’t carry your bags’, (or words to that effect). If an instruction is missed he comes through with gobbledygook. ‘Turn your vehicle around to change direction in order to go in the direction you were directing your vehicle’ – What!!!!!

However after all that the Sat Nav was a boon and worked hard for its keep.

SO>>>>

Now back in Australia I have bought one too, John Cleese’ dulcet tones once again give out clear and precise instructions but this time in metres and kilometres not yards and miles. I’ve been out on a few practice runs in the last few days to learn how to use this new device of mine and I burst out laughing in the car on Friday.

“After 800 metres, (I wish I could say ½ a mile but I can’t thanks to that bastard Napoleon)!!!”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard but I laughed so much it was just as well I was taking the turn off the highway after '½ a mile' :)

Family members from UK will be here on holiday shortly and my Sat Nav will come in very handy. It’s not a toy I know, but if fun can be had along the way then that’s a bonus. The main reason for the purchase of ‘Tom’ (you guessed it – it is a Tom Tom) is to increase my confidence when driving to unknown places, to increase my circle of comfort where I usually drive, to allow me to be more adventurous but most of all to increase my INDEPENDENCE.

Tom you are going to be worth every cent :)

Loch Lomond- August 2009
Taken about 13.00 hrs from the shoreline, isn't it lovely?

Brisbane Broncos

Although my team reached the final 8 teams after an amazing season and fighting to reach and remain in the top 8 we were beaten in the Semi-Final by Melbourne Storm, who, then went on to take the Premiership after trouncing the Parramatta Eels in the final game of the season.

The boys have now parted company for a while, fulfilling overseas and national committments but they will be back again in 2010 to start the ball rolling again (excuse the pun).

No doubt the fervour will build once again. Broncos home, once known as Lang Park (Suncorp Stadium) is now being used by Queensland Roar Soccer Team for their home matches. Soccer doesn't seem to hold the same excitement and interest though somehow.

Oh Well until next year>>>>

Concentration

Combining time and talent
Can bring forth works of
Considerable pleasure
Concentrating on form
Centralising thoughts
Concocting patterns
Counselling oneself.



Vonnie©

crocodile line

That damn bell
every day it screams
enters my head,
my heart,
my soul.
~~
Shuffling feet
disorganised line,
moving steadily forward,
never ending,
shuffle, mumble,
mumble, shuffle
strike a match,
smell of memory evoking sulphur,
enters nostrils as
palls of smoke
spiral around
heads, tightly tucked
into coats, sweaters,
hands in pockets,
down-cast eyes.

What is so special about shoes,
why do we all take an avid interest?

A banker next to a murderer,
next to a drug-dealer, next to
a thief, walking in circles,
no boundaries here,
no class system here,
we are all equal
as we shuffle,
always shuffling
in ever decreasing circles
forming our
daily
Crocodile Line!
©

beautiful

I sit across the table watching,
every movement of his face
the arch of his eyebrow
dimple on his left cheek
his mouth,
white teeth,
full lips,
a smile that can put sunshine in my day,
I observe every nuance,
of his
Beautiful face!

vivid blue eyes
so warm, yet
able to freeze in an instant.
they smile
direct gaze as he speaks,
Beautiful eyes!

I contemplate his hands
no scars,
strong hands for hard work,
soft hands to
rescue the tiniest creature,
Beautiful hands!

I listen to his voice
unique timbre,
a laugh that warms me
he makes me laugh,
I watch and observe
as he talks to his Father
and I feel proud
I love this man,
this man,

My Son!
©

Ode to the Weathermen

Friday Night, just finished tea, heard a ‘Plink-Plonk- on the roof
seems it was a rare occasion when the weathermen spoke the truth.
We didn’t take much notice, just continued with our talk
my little dog waiting patiently to begin her evening walk.

‘Plink-Plonk’ was getting louder, “It’ll pass”, my Husband said,
my dog was tired of waiting, so she settled on her bed.
Our pergola roof is mainly steel and polycarbonate sheet
a crack of thunder made me jump vibrating to my feet.

We couldn’t speak above the din so we didn’t even try
ran outside like idiots carrying plants that had gone dry,
cars and windows were secured in case the storm blew in
by now I couldn’t even think the storm was causing such a din.

Those weathermen when will they ever get our weather forecast right?
at this rate ‘just a shower or two’ will be belting down all night.
Plink-Plonk was now a torrent, those experts never fail
never mentioning on the forecast that this ‘shower’ would bring hail!

Living in the Tropics, snow is something we don’t see
huge hailstones in the backyard though are close enough for me.
So gents with your technology could you please once get it right
Especially for next weekend, “I’m going out on Saturday night”!
©

a soft embellishment

a soft embellishment

on a naked stalk

sprouts green
velvet soft leaves,
hiding a majesty
yet to be revealed.
tip of beauty,
working, waiting
to show
it's colourful face
to the world.

We, mere mortals,
wait, bated breath
to behold nature’s gift.
yellow buds,
watched daily
excitement mounting,
petals pushed aside
awaiting birth.

Such wonder,
beauty,
sweet perfume
fills the air
watching in awe
as nature unfolds
on life's path to death,
dry...
wither...
die.....

Ending days
encased amongst the leaves
of a dusty book.....
©
All rights for the image belong to: canonsnapper

Autumn

You are to me a breath of air
Cool, refreshing blowing fair,
Upon my face, your touch is soft
Lift my spirit high, aloft….

High to where your breeze is born
Let those who love the summer mourn,
But no not I, for I bless the time
When summer wanes and you are mine…

To revel in the colours brought
Throughout hot summers often sought,
Watch leaves slowly fall each day
Feel gentle breezes blow astray……

Wake each morn before your sun
Count each blessing before day’s begun,
We each observe your falling fire
End each day in gold attire….

So faithful to me every year
As March arrives you’re getting near,
April brings your coloured gown
May sees you in gold and brown…..

Too short, your season sadly missed
Your sun is low, each day I’m kissed,
By your countenance so mild and true
Next year my Autumn I’ll wait for you.
©

39th Wedding Anniversary

19th September 1970 was my wedding day - a wonderful day often recalled by me as the happiest days of my life. 19th September 2009 however has been a totally different experience - our first anniversary since my darling husband passed over.

A 'girls day out' was organised by my Niece and Sister which included, massage and pampering, lunch and then a night out - it was a good day, and I am so fortunate to have so many loving people around me, who love and care about me to organise such a great day.

I miss David every day, I love David every day and I still feel that half of my heart is missing without him to look at, touch and talk to.
39 years ago I made a decision which was to change my life and I don't regret one thing about it. I married a man I loved more with each passing day, my pride for him, for his stoicism during his deadful illness will be alive as long as I am.

David, my darling man, I have loved you practically my whole life and nothing will ever change my feelings for you.

xxx Von xxx

A Wonderful Entertainer

I had the pleasure of meeting this man,talking at length to him, sharing a drink or 3, listening to his powehouse of a voice and laughing with him during 2 shows I was fortunate to see and enjoy whilst in Scotland.

This proud Scot is a terrific entertainer and seems he can sing any song he wants to having a vocal range not often heard.

I'm happy to say Kirk is a friend and I hope to see a show of his in Australia one day.

Power to you Kirk James xx Von