2010!

2010!

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
-- C.S. Lewis

This year I would like to be kinder than its predecessors 2008/2009.

The death of my Husband after a terrible illness in March 2009 was an experience that has changed my life and my expectations for my future for evermore.
No more can I plan for ‘us’ – now it’s just ‘me’. 9 months on now since the saddest day of my life, 6th March took my David away from me. I’ve had to make adjustments, some good, some not so good and difficult to carry out but I’ve tried to be strong and to do what is right for me.
My loving family and close friends continue to watch over me and they too try to do their very best for me. I’m very fortunate that I have so many people in my life who do care what happens to me and how I live my life.
Not being a part of a couple is so very difficult for me still and will continue to be so I’m sure; however I feel stronger as the events that have changed my life have also changed me.
I now make my own decisions; I have to as I have no one here to defer to.
I try to move forward as a widow; no longer a wife BUT I’m still a Mother and my son gives me many reasons to be proud of him and the way he and his/our Rachael lead their lives. I know his Dad would be very proud of him too.

Perhaps, they are not stars in the sky, but rather
openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.
-- Inuit Legend

I'm Gone now, but I'm still very near.
Death can never separate us.
Each time you feel a gentle breeze,
It's my hand caressing your face.
Each time the wind blows,
It carries my voice whispering your name.
When the wind blows your hair ever so slightly,
Think of it as me pushing a few stray hairs back in place.
When you feel a few raindrops fall on your face,
It's me placing soft kisses.
At night look up in the sky and see the stars shining so brightly.
I'm one of those stars and I'm winking at you and smiling with delight.
For never forget you're the apple of my eye.
-- Mary M. Green